(If you're on my f-list and follow me on Twitter, this DOES NOT apply to you. I'm putting up this post for all the other folks who have chosen to follow me on that marvelous social-networking site. Heh. It's too long for Twitter itself, and as this is the only multi-purpose blog I maintain, it goes here. Under a cut, of course!)

When I first joined Twitter, I did it mainly because a ton of my LJ friends had Twitter accounts and I thought it looked cool. I also really liked the idea of little capsule updates, which wouldn't require the amount of thought that goes into a typical LJ post for me. I'm not terribly active on other social-networking sites - Facebook turned out to be an absolute bust for me - but I decided to give Twitter a whirl.

Overall I've had a ton of fun, and have gotten the chance to follow some really fun and interesting people. But along with that, I've run into some ... let's call them issues, and since some of these seem to keep cropping up, I decided it was finally time to make a post addressing some of them, and giving Twitter followers some idea of where I stand.

- By and large, I will not follow you back unless I know you from somewhere, either LJ, another website, or real life. Believe me, this is nothing personal. It's just that I do happen to have a life outside of the computer, and it would be absolutely impossible for me to give 92 different followers the kind of attention I feel they deserve. Similarly to LJ, I also like to have some idea of who folks are before I see their posts - or tweets - showing up on my list. Feel free to follow me anyway, and I hope you enjoy my tweets! :)

- If you are from LJ and choose to follow me and I have not added you back, please leave a comment on this post to let me know who you are on Twitter. I don't want to miss anybody I should have legitimately added!

- I tweet often. I tweet quickly. I tweet about stuff that's happening to me, stuff that's happened to my friends, random thoughts that flit across my brain, whatever writing projects I happen to be working on at a particular time, and the occasional rant. If you can't handle lots of tweets on your watcher page, you'd probably be better off not following me.

- The person in my usericon is not me. That's Natalie Portman, and she is infinitely more beautiful than I ever have been or ever will be. So, while it's wonderful to be complimented on my looks, I'd feel much better if you complimented me on my actual looks rather than those of a random movie star/celebrity. And NO, I do not look like Natalie Portman. I wish.

- Corollary: I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of pictures of myself I have made public in my thirteen years on the internet. That ought to tell you something right there, which is that I hardly ever post pictures. This is mostly for privacy reasons, and because I believe the maxim that once you put an image of yourself on the internet, it ceases to belong to you. That's not really how I roll, so I have made the decision not to share pictures of myself, my family, my boyfriend, the Kidlet, my office or where I live, except with a very small, select audience on my LiveJournal. Again, it's nothing personal. There are just a lot of creeps out there, and while I'm sure most people are honest and hardworking and all of that, there's absolutely no way to tell who the few bad apples are that might ruin the whole bunch. If you do ask for a picture of me (and folks have before), expect to be politely but firmly told no.

- I didn't join Twitter to find a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, for that matter!). My personal life is my own, and if and when I do look for a partner, it will not be online. Believe it or not, I have gotten the occasional proposition via Twitter, and while those are sweet, I will turn you down.

- My opinions, my opinions. Your opinions, your opinions. We've all heard the expression "Opinions are like assholes - everyone's got one," right? I will make every effort to understand your opinions and to debate them with you in a respectful manner. In return, I would like you to do the same for my opinions. You may not always like or agree with what I have to say, but I hope you know that I have the right to say it.

- "Remove" buttons are friends, not food. If all of a sudden you decide you don't like what I have to say anymore or you're sick of seeing my tweets show up on your home page or whatever, just press that handy-dandy little button, and the problem will be solved. No hard feelings, I promise!

- If you act like a creep (repeatedly asking for pictures, repeatedly coming on to me or otherwise being obnoxious), expect to be treated like one. Look, I'm basically a polite person, but I do have my limits. These limits are further taxed by my current state of increased hormones, and while I'm able to control myself like a normal human being, those folks who are being idiots will be the first to see that control slip. Insist on being a knucklehead? I will block you, and with very few reservations.

I'm sure this list makes me sound very standoffish, and honestly, I don't intend it that way. I just want things to be very clear, and I also want to maybe clear up a few questions you might have. Any others that don't appear here? Feel free to ask; anonymous commenting is enabled if you don't have a LiveJournal account. Despite the above, I truly am approachable. :)